


Four and Twenty Blackbirds

by The_Exile



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Multi, Pi Day, Pie, Possible cannibalism?, slightly creepy implications
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 00:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15401235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Exile/pseuds/The_Exile
Summary: Toriel challenges herself to bake any kind of pie they want for everyone in the Underground.





	Four and Twenty Blackbirds

After making the large batch of dog food pies she would inevitably need, then the extremely overcooked spaghetti pie she would also be asked for, she wrapped the latter up and took it to their house.

She met Napstablook on the way, randomly lying down on the floor as usual. Asked what kind of pie he wanted out of absolutely anything reasonably expected to be available - then firmly browbeaten into giving an actual answer rather than insisting he could go without and didn't deserve pie and the whole thing sounded like far too much trouble - he requested snail pie. She was slightly annoyed that he had STILL only requested the same pie she always made but she relented when he explained that snails reminded him of home and the farm and everything he liked, especially her amazing home cooked pies. She decided to try and make him a pie out of the ghosts of snails so that he could actually eat it rather than it fall straight through him and he think she didn't notice because he stood on a pie-coloured floor.

She amused herself the rest of the way by trying to predict Sans' inevitable pie pun. Would he ask for a magpie? A mud pie? Actually he would probably eat a mud pie. It was all the same to him - skeletons weren't supposed to eat anyway.

"Oh, I don't need a pie," he replied, grinning as only a skeleton could, "I've got a cutie pie right here in front of me."

"That's so sweet, Sans," she blushed, wishing Papyrus wasn't making weird noises as he did something with the pie that didn't look like eating it. If forced to guess, she would say throwing it at a canvas to create modern art, "I'd still like to make you a pie, though."

"Okay, then, can I have a mud pie? That way I can share it with my pet rock," he answered, seeming serious, "By the way, a certain Boss heard that the Underground's most famous piemaker was offering people ANY PIE THEY WANTED for free, to celebrate Pi Day. I suggested 'four and twenty blackbirds' but he seemed unimpressed with my best joke yet. Then he asked for flower pie. Specifically those flowers that keep growing around his throne and that are rapidly taking over your place of exile. He eats flowers, he hates ones that spread like weeds and aren't even that pretty..."

"He's forgotten what happened to his bowels the last time he ate unidentified flowers, he expects some servant or other to clear up the unspeakable mess," she sighed, "Well, I did say ANY pie... although I had to refuse Frisk a 'soul pie' earlier, he was having one of his funny turns... so I'll think about it."

"What did Frisk get in the end, out of interest?"

"When he recovered, he insisted on his usual butterscotch-cinnamon."

"It is delicious," said Sans.

"Well, I have to go. I've got Mettaton and the lovebirds to visit. There may be a lot of explaining to do that the recipes in their favourite comic books do not actually exist in this world. And arguments over what things robots can eat."

"Good luck," said Sans, "If you need help, I've got energy today, just thinking about my pie."

"Well, you're Grillby's friend, yes? He asked for a charcoal pie, and of course the royal guard all want dog food pies, so I need a help delivering them all."

"I can do that while you sort out the others," said Sans, "Come, brother! We must deliver all the pies before the sun goes down or the magic of Pi Day will not bless our bounteous feast!"

"There's no sun underground," she sighed. Then she shook her head, her ears drooping. Papyrus was going to get all the work foisted onto him, no doubt. Still, this was a lot more effort than Sans used to make for anyone. She smiled and led the two loudly bickering skeletons out of the house.

Sidling out from a small scar in the veil between possibilities, Gaster crackled his disappointment that glitch pie was not yet a thing that science had invented.


End file.
